By Drs. Evelyn and Paul Moschetta
1.
See Your Partner The Way Your Dog Sees You.
This means
consciously
looking at each other through doggie eyes. It means no blaming, judging, criticizing or controlling. It's offering unconditional love
and
being worthy of receiving it. It also means living in the present and not spoiling it by dragging in old negative memories from the past. It means seeing each other with "innocent eyes", not having an image of one another so partners stay fresh, new and exciting to one another.
2.
Pretend You Live In A Dictatorship Where Divorce is Outlawed.
Now what?
Now, like it or not, you have to accept one another and that means developing an increased capacity for empathy. Without the divorce option in play you find yourself getting better at seeing and feeling the relationship they way your partner experiences. This triggers a huge amount of mutual understanding, forgiveness and tolerance. You begin letting a lot of stuff go, stuff you used to hassle one another about. Hey, now your starting to like one another. And guess what? That liking one another, that friendship
grows
and you soon go from being bickering roommates to being soul mates: true best friends and passionate, enthusiastic lovers.
3.
Write Each Other's Eulogy
If your partner got hit by a bus and left this world you would find yourself standing before family and friends describing what a good caring person he/she was. Write down what you would actually say. What are the qualities that first attracted you to him or her and which, in your best moments together, you celebrated and thrilled one another mentally, emotionally, and sexually. Describe the joys you shared, the tender moments, the selfless acts of caring that endeared you to him/her.
Revise this eulogy once a week for one month, adding to it additional memories that arise when you are sure its complete find a quite serene place and take turns reading them to one another.