- The pain consistently outweighs the pleasure and joy in your relationship.
- The same patterns of unhappiness continue despite your best efforts to change them.
- The "in love" feeling is permanently gone; you've lost your passion or sexual desire.
- These feelings continue after you've worked hard with a professional counselor to understand yourself and your relationship.
- Constant bickering and competition between partners.
- Accumulated pain and anger that never really goes away.
- A lack of trust that puts a knot in the pit of your stomach.
- Unwillingness to go out of your way to please one another.
- Feeling relieved when the other person isn't around.
- Being the recipient of nonstop faultfinding, criticism, and blame.
- Taking each other-and your relationship-for granted.Harboring angry feelings without discussing them.
- Forcing your partner to fit an idealized image rather than accepting him or her as is.
- Having to be always right; insisting on always "having your way" or being in control.
- Adultery/being unfaithful.
Common Danger Zones: Stressful Life Events
- Having a child/differences in child-rearing.
- Buying a house.
- Career transitions.
- Losing a job/financial problems.
- Chronic illness.
An experienced therapist that feels right for you brings the best results